Timber Wick Hanna's | Strip Mall Candle Review

Today I'm once again whittling down the candlewick-hours of my life, dreaming up new and creative ways of describing another Candle procured from a Strip Mall in Winter Park. Some might ask, Carl, when are you going to start talking about the bigger issues in life, like the war, immigration, populism, will Tom Cruise return as Ethan Hunt?

My answer is, well, there's always room in life for hamburgers. A political journalist or movie going podcaster you can get for a penny. But a candle blogger! Now that is a far less saturated space and one where I can truly flex my creative juices. And at the very least, I get to have a nice smell in the bathroom.

On the menu today, Hanna's At Home Timber Wick Cedar Oakwood 9.25oz Candle with Wooden Lid. It has approximately 65 hours of burn time. According to the Amazon listing, the smell of the Cedar Oakwood candle will remind you of being in the woods. Presumably because every wooded area has both Cedar and Oakwood trees in them. Or perhaps it's now Forest Law for each rural conservation area to be fumigated with the scent of Hanna's At Home Timber Wick Cedar Oakwood. I can't say for sure which one is the likelier. Either way there is a big sticker on the front saying it's made in the USA, and that's all we really care about.

As for the smell, the best compliment I can give it is that I haven't noticed it a jot. That's primarily because I have a cold, and the only two things I smell when I have a cold is dog poo in the shower (yes sometimes the dog likes to curl one out at night in the shower. What are you going to do? Footnote, I tell you what you shouldn't be doing is attempting to swill said dog poo down the plughole. It will only clam up the plumbing and no Mr Muscle is going to get through that. End of footnote).

The second thing I can smell in isolation is Fox Pee. Now we like to feed the foxes at night with whatever leftovers we have in the fridge, and they show their gratification by peeing in the food bowls left out for them on the porch. Believe me, nothing I mean NOTHING smells as heinous as Fox Pee.

Now considering these candles smells neither of Fox Pee or Dog Poo, means that it cannot be overtly offensive. The wife says it's passable, which all you can really hope for with a Strip Mall candle under $6.

The cylindrical shape and the see-through glass at least allows the candlelight to reach the walls and create an atmosphere. Yes the wick crackles, how novel.