Is She Ready For a Relationship? 5 Signs You Could be Wasting Your Time

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Guys, ever been on a date with a girl where she can't stop chatting about her ex? She starts trash talking him about how he did this, did that. In the back of your mind you're thinking, 'wow this guy sounds like a real dick, I'm nothing like this guy'. 

That's sign number one

She can't stop talking about someone in her past is never a good sign. Unless the guy abused her physically or emotionally, then take it with a pinch of salt. Maybe after about 30 minutes of her whittling on about how he forgot every anniversary, pipe up with 'Hey, knock it off! I'm not here to talk about him.' To quote Bill Withers, "Put them other cats away and let me try to make something in your life." 

Sign number two

You're not the project. 

What's that mean Cryptic Carl? 

It means she has something going on in her life, that is unequivocally more important than you. The relationship is a by-product, you're the passenger. 

Her project is often 'herself'. I need to work on myself, ever had that one pulled on you only to find she's in a relationship two weeks later? I once dated a girl who was doing massive renovation work to her house. I didn't mind helping out, it felt like something we were both working towards. 

But I quickly realised that this was her house. This was her sole objective and she was not about to be derailed by the restraints of relationships. Which is fair enough. I'm wildly attracted to driven and ambitious women. I'm also mindful that I could be viewed as a distraction and any distractions or obstacles could be jettisoned/dispensed with quite ruthlessly. As it duly did. 

Sign number three

She loves to travel right? She talks about nothing else. Maybe she's already talking about her retirement plans in the Costa Brava, but guess what, she's not mentioned the key word once, "WE". 

Where are you featuring in all the grand schemes in her life? Does she envisage you both on that Morocco beach piling through the happy hour menu together?  

This is a red flag in my book. We all like to dream big sweetheart but we need to dream that dream together. 

Sign number four

She drinks like a damn fish. But you're hooked on this girl so you've also inherited a mild drinking problem. Perhaps it's the only way the two of you can have a lucid conversation. Break down the barriers of shyness. 

When a girl drinks like every night is a hen night, then she's not in the right place. Maybe you like to get a buzz on, get out on a Friday together and cut loose, but it's bad news if you're trying to catch that same buzz every Friday night. Or even in some of my own previous experiences, every night. 

There is something going on underneath. Something she thinks the booze can heal. But of course, to coin an old adage, the answer is never found at the bottom of the bottle. 

Sign number five

She's not asking you enough questions. When you're wondering whether she's into you or not ask yourself, has this girl even asked me a question in the last half hour? 

I've listened to her rabbit on about how tough it is being an influencer (which it isn't. roofing, working on a production line, being a hod carrier, digging ditches, that's tough) but she hasn't even asked what it is I want out of life. 

Any girl that lets 30 minutes go by without asking a question is a narcissist. Not a great sign she has any room in her life, when she her own inflated ego is taking up all the space. 

Please Note: I’ll be one of the men’s coaches at the Dating Show Live in June if anyone would like some one-to-one advice or support.

Help for Single People | The Dating Show Live

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Single men of the world stand fast! I have the conch and this is a call to arms for all my single brothers. Converge! I have some big and exciting news that could transform your single status. The world’s biggest dating show, The Dating Show Live will be making its debut at the NEC in Birmingham on 24th and 25th November, a once a year two-day event.

First Dates, the nation’s favourite TV dating show is coming “live” to run a Café right in the middle of the Show for all visitors.

 

I'm single but quite shy, can I take a friend?

Yes, absolutely! Group tickets start at £22 if you want to bring up to 4 friends and make it a social thing. If you think that being an introvert is holding you back then Nick Davies, Hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist will be helping folk to bolster their confidence. 

He's also on hand to help anyone get a toxic relationship out of their head so they can move on and on the Sunday, will be hypnotising a guy to make him the most attractive guy in the room.

 

Carl I'm doing ok with Tinder; do I really need to go? 

Well good for you dude! But you're not doing that well on Tinder if you're still on Tinder right? Unless your end game is to stay on Tinder for as long as possible. 

If you'd like some advice on how to use Tinder to its full potential, then Mr Tinder (the man most swiped right on Tinder) will be offering advice to men on his couch in “The Sitting Room”. 

But the very question of why you'd want to remain single is a good one, lets address that for a second. 

 

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Can you be happy and single? 

Sure, it's completely doable. But it's not until you find a great partner to share your woes and celebrate your wins that you realise how vacuous your single life was. 

There's also the landmark days like Valentine’s Day. The commercialism is terribly tacky, but the underlying feeling that you're missing out on something is palpable, no matter how much you remonstrate. 

Single wedding invites. Urgghh, to be capped with a celebration of other people hopelessly in love. Being the single dude at the wedding is almost like being wheeled out in a freak show as the man with 2 heads. 

The incessant set ups from mutual friends. I get it, no one wants to see Carl lonely but I consider myself more De Niro in Heat lonely than I do Richard Richard from Bottom lonely. Thanks for the reminder of the single stigmatism thought folks. 

 

What else is on at the Live Dating Event? 

If you're still not convinced whether this is worth your time and money, then perhaps ask yourself these questions. Are you any good at Speed Dating? How's the wardrobe looking, do people ever compliment you on your style? Are you up-to-date with all the latest grooming products and advice? 

These are just some of the topics that will be covered by specialists and brands at the event. John Scott, the TVs much-loved Stylist has teamed up with Cici, Style Icon from First Dates to run live fashion makeovers.

And if all that is too much for you then there is always the safe haven of the Beer Tent.

www.thedatingshowlive.com