Hotel Balnea Superior - Terme Krka | Review

Article by guest author Peter Brooker

After one night in Llubjana we drove down to the Hotel Balnea Superior - Terme Krka. Parking was not intuitive, but we got there in the end. For over 300 sheets a night you might expect a valet.

Also, no one on hand to take luggage to the room? I guess we've been spoiled. The room 2314 has a stunning view of the low hanging clouds on the nearby mountains. Those ensuing clouds created a menace that night, shaking the hotel to its core with blistering bursts of thunder and lightning.

We spent a couple of days in the hotel, soaking completely naked in the Japanese hot pool, and the two saunas. The Austrians have little to no self awareness when it comes to displaying their tackle to the British. I thought I'd seen it all in Baden-Bie-Wien when one chap laid on his back and rolled his todger up his belly rather than let it fall naturally between his legs. But we have a new leader in the clubhouse as the Yanks like to say. One gentleman adopted the same position in the Sauna, laid back, but his penis was rolled up and to the side so it was looking me dead nuts on (pardon the pun) as I walked in.

There are two outdoor pools, one for the pros, one for the children to throw balls around. I saw one girl fall over on the concrete chasing a ball and she cracked her head. I alerted the kitchen staff who had a limited grasp on the English language. I resorted to pointing.

The food in the canteen is terrible. They informed me my burger hadn't been fully defrosted so it would take longer. Unfortunately it was too late to cancel the order. But the breakfast and lunch served in the connecting hotel is perfectly serviceable.

We had two dinners, one was a pizza, Hiša Janko, which was a short 5 minute walk away. Sublime. On the second night we had some tremendous local fish at Hotel & Restaurant Ostarija. Although the scribbled graffiti on the wall made it look like a Hostel in Brighton. The local wines are exemplary and on a par with the Austrians.

The hotel bar had some light entertainment. The bar was extremely limited in terms of night caps so resorted to a Jamesons and some Grappa. For a hotel of this distinction and price point, I would have hoped for more options on the whisky front. I would have hoped for a bit more all round really.

The walks around the sunflower fields and farms in the morning passed the time.