The Rise of Stoicism & How I've Turned to it During Times of Grief

'Get that effing dog away from,' she belted in terror, mustering all the energy she could in her weak and emaciated body to swipe a leg my dog. Yes, my tiny dog that poses no threat. When you're a dog owner you can get into a few skirmishes here or there. I have to accept that not everyone likes dogs. But picture this, some complete stranger kicking your dog for no good reason. You'd go ballistic right?

What is the merit of having such a violent reflex to the thought of that? Now the lady in question didn't connect with her kick, had she done who knows what would have been the outcome. As it turns I just carried on walking. I hadn't realised it at the time but I was harnessing some Stoic philosophy. I wasn't reacting to something that was out of control, like a complete stranger mindlessly kicking my dog. I was controlling the only thing in my power, my own reaction. Plus it wouldn't been a good look, 'content creator beats the crap out of homeless woman.'

I've contemplated on this occurrence for a few hours now. Whilst the woman kicking out at my dog was an act of lunacy, it must have come from a place of anxiety and fear. Perhaps she had some bad dealings with dogs in the past, maybe been attacked or bitten. She's overreacted but every action has a reaction. And she's clearly had some bad 'previous dog action' in her time. 

Only focusing on things that are in our control is one of the core beliefs in stoicism. But let’s recap, what is Stoicism exactly? Stoicism is a philosophical school of thought that originated in ancient Greece, around the 3rd century BCE, and later gained popularity in ancient Rome. It's a philosophy that emphasises personal virtue, wisdom, and rationality as the path to true happiness and tranquillity.

Key principles of Stoicism include:

1. Virtue as the Highest Good: Stoics believe that the highest good is moral virtue, characterised by wisdom, courage, justice, and self-discipline. So no London Pride on a school night then? God dammit.

2. Acceptance of What You Can't Control: Central to Stoic thought is the idea that we should focus on things within our control, such as our actions and attitudes, and accept what we cannot control, including external events and the actions of others. Including crazy old ladies that want to kick your dog.

3. Indifference to External Goods: Stoics advocate for indifference or detachment from external goods like wealth, fame, and social status. While these things are not inherently bad, they should not be the primary source of one's happiness. But what about my 65" LG flat screen? I'm quite attached to that you know.

4. Living in Accordance with Nature: Stoicism encourages living in accordance with nature, which means aligning our actions and attitudes with the rational order of the universe. This involves accepting the natural course of events, even if they are challenging. I do enjoy my walks across the fields, but I'm also in favour of developing the Rosebank oil refinery in a hope to diversify our energy portfolio. You can see how I'm conflicted.

5. Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection are essential in Stoicism. It involves regularly examining one's thoughts and behaviours to align them with Stoic principles. Having a daily journal is good for this. Maybe I should get a typewriter and hammer out my thoughts like a boxer hitting a heavy bag.

Stoicism has experienced a resurgence in popularity in recent years. In times of crisis, such as the global financial downturn in 2008 and more recently the COVID-19 pandemic, people have turned to Stoicism for guidance on how to navigate adversity, loss, and uncertainty. Stoicism offers practical strategies for managing emotions. Stoic practices, such as mindfulness, gratitude, and resilience, are attractive to individuals looking to improve themselves and their lives. It's also a practice that's spearheaded by some captains of industry such as Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Tim Ferriss.

What are the best books to start my learning on Stoicism?

I'm looking to broaden my knowledge on Stoicsim, and practice it more everyday like a religion. I'm thumbing around my soul like a blind man in a room looking for the walls. I want to know more about myself and what I'm capable of. Crikey Carl, you're going in the deep end on this one huh? Well maybe. At the very least I'll have something different to talk about at the Christmas parties this year.

Here are several classic books and texts that can provide you with a solid foundation in Stoic principles and practices.

1. "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius.
2. "Letters from a Stoic" by Seneca:"
3. "The Enchiridion" by Epictetus:
4. "A Guide to the Good Life" by William B. Irvine:
5. "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
6. "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness" by Donald Robertson.
7. "Stoicism: A Very Short Introduction" by Brad Inwood.

Lastly, as many of you know I have lost my beloved Charlie in the past month. Nothing can really describe the hollowing agony of losing a pet. I have a thousand photos and videos on my phone that feels like he's still here in certain moments, then gone. I've been looking towards Stoicism to see if it can provide a framework for understanding and managing my emotions during difficult times. Here are some top 5 Stoic principles and practices to help you navigate grief:

1. Accept the Nature of Grief: Stoicism teaches that it's natural for human beings to experience grief when they encounter loss. Accept that grief is a natural emotional response to loss, and there's no need to suppress it.

2. Seek Perspective: Consider the broader context of life and the impermanence of all things. Stoicism emphasises the transitory nature of human existence, helping you gain perspective on your grief and see it as part of the human experience.

3. Live in the Present Moment: Concentrate on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or fearing the future. By practicing mindfulness and being present, you can better manage your grief as it arises.

4. Use Stoic Affirmations: Create Stoic affirmations or mantras that help you cope with grief. For example, you might repeat statements like, "I accept what I cannot change," or "I will endure this with strength and wisdom."

5. Engage in Stoic Practices: Stoicism involves practical exercises, such as negative visualisation (contemplating the loss of what you have) and premeditatio malorum (preparing for adversity). These practices can help you mentally prepare for grief and develop resilience.

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